Words and music copyright 1998 by Steve Brooks

Ken Starr is in a quandary.
It really isn't fair.
He's got all this dirty laundry,
And nobody really cares.
He's spent ten million big ones.
Gonna spend ten million more.
But every time he shoots his big gun,
Bill Clinton's ratings soar.
Well, here's my suggestion -
Why not call The Amazing Kreskin?

You know, Clinton is a phoenix.
He's clinging to his job,
Though Starr has sent subpoenas
To everybody but the dog.
He's on a fishing expedition,
That just goes on and on.
His witness died in prison,
'Cause he's taking so damned long.
The court is now in session -
Why not call The Amazing Kreskin?

We need us a real detective,
To solve this mystery.
If Starr is so defective,
Why not try ESP?

We'll call up Dionne Warwick.
We'll call Shirley Maclaine.
We'll find ourselves a psychic
Who can really feel our pain.
No need to sit and wonder
Who's leaking to the press.
Just call this toll-free number:
1-900-S-E-X.
He'll answer every question.
Why not call The Amazing Kreskin?
Before the next erection
(Uh, I mean, election) -
Why not call The Amazing Kreskin?