I’m a junkie for the TV news.
If I miss it, I will get the blues.
Every evening, when the clock strikes six,
I’ll be sitting down to get my fix.
Only recently, I’ve understood
Why no news at all is sometimes good,
For I think that I have had my fill,
Watching Monica and watching Bill.

CHORUS
How I wish I could take a break
From the sight of Bill Clinton’s face.
I try to hide, but I can’t escape
From sex, lies and videotape,
Sex, lies and videotape.

I was tuning in to CNN -
They were playing it again and again.
Couldn’t get away from Bill and Ken
Even on the Nickelodeon.
Found a shelter at a local bar,
Till somebody lit a big cigar.
Then the only thing to save us all
Was the start of Monday Night Football.

CHORUS

How I wish I could turn back the page
And forget the Information Age.
From the daily papers to the Internet,
All I hear about is sex, sex, sex.
Every member of the U.S. House
Has been sleeping with somebody’s spouse.
We’ll be watching the affairs of state
On Jerry Springer and on Ricki Lake.

CHORUS