Words and music copyright 1998 by Steve Brooks

I wanna get a nuclear weapon,
So everyone else will respect me.
If I could get a nuclear weapon,
No woman would ever reject me.
I wanna be the first on my block,
The envy of all of my neighbors.
If anyone gives me some back-talk,
I'll be turning them all into vapor.

I'd make a tremendous impression.
Nobody with me would be messing.
I wanna get a nuclear,
Wanna get a nuclear,
Wanna get a nuclear weapon.

I wouldn't be afraid of my boss,
When he's threatening me with downsizing.
I'd just give a rocket a toss,
And a mushroom cloud would be rising.
I got me some friends who can sell me
A couple of pieces of contraband.
They pick it up cheap in New Delhi,
If they can't get it cheaper in Pakistan.

I'd teach all you people a lesson,
Be bigger than Charlton Heston.
I wanna get a nuclear,
Wanna get a nuclear,
Wanna get a nuclear weapon.

The government's trying to stop me,
From going and splitting the atom.
It's a blatant case of hypocrisy,
'Cause you know they already have 'em.
They don't need to call it a crisis,
For fear of a nuclear barbecue.
Just leave me to my own devices,
'Cause nukes don't kill - it's people do.

I'm getting some extra protection.
It's better than a Smith and Wesson.
I wanna get a nuclear,
Wanna get a nuclear,
Wanna get a nuclear weapon.