In the spirit of Molly Ivins, who once named her dog after an aromatic bodily function, this song includes the salty line, "Little people getting screwed." If you're a DJ who can't play that line on the air, fear not! This version substitutes the family-friendly, "Out on their wazoos."
When the hawks are all a-hawking,
And the doves are barely squawking,
And the Middle East is one big barbecue;
When our troops are getting shipped off,
Taxpayers getting ripped off,
I ask myself, "What would Molly do?"
When our good old Constitution
Is due for execution,
And they're packing all the courts with kangaroos;
When I'm sick and tired of fighting
The armies of the right wing,
I ask myself, "What would Molly do?"
CHORUS
What would Molly do?
She'd be raising up a ruckus.
What would Molly do?
With the gangs that try to pluck us.
What would Molly do?
She'd kick 'em in the tuckus.
When I get the red state blues
I ask myself, "What would Molly do?"
When I see the wretched excess
Of the fat cats running Texas,
And the little folks are out on their wazoos;
When our dear old legislature
Flips the bird at Mother Nature,
I ask myself, "What would Molly do?"
When the daily paper hits me
With Paris, Brad and Britney,
But don't see fit to print the real news;
When the talk shows try to shock me
And the TV's getting Foxy
I ask myself, "What would Molly do?"
CHORUS
What would Molly do?
She'd be tripping up the twaddle.
What would Molly do?
She would never mollycoddle
What would Molly do?
She'd be pulling out the throttle.
When I get the red state blues
I ask myself, "What would Molly do?"
When I hear those doom-and-gloomers,
And I need my sense of humor
To keep a little daylight shining through,
Then it's thanks to old Miss Molly,
I can laugh at human folly,
As I ask myself, "What would Molly do?"
CHORUS
What would Molly do?
She would keep herself amused.
What would Molly do?
Busting up our bugaboos.
What would Molly do?
She'd say nothing is taboo.
When I get those red state blues
I ask myself, "What would Molly do?"