One of the endearing things about the Catholic church has always been its ability to make a place for folk religions and their deities. Here in Austin, we get the soulful art of Mexican churches, altars and festivals. Back in New Orleans, we got Voodoo, which began as a mixture of Catholic saint-worship with the gods of West African slaves. What better place, then, for the birth of a bioregional religion based on that beloved denizen of the swamp - the frog?

It all got started one Mardi Gras day round about 1985. The conspirators, led by the Reverend Dan Meyer, got it into their heads to harass fundamentalists down in the French Quarter. Reason being that fundamentalists were running around with megaphones harassing everybody else - exhorting them to quit sinning, which on Fat Tuesday, is like exhorting a flood to stop flowing or a frog to stop singing.

And lo, there appeared on Decatur Street a group of celebrants bearing a giant, crucified paper-mache frog. Whenever a street preacher launched into his rap, they would pipe up a veritable froggy chorus, proclaiming the good news about the deity who croaked for our sins. In short order, the preacher would pack up his soapbox and look for another spot to be saving souls from themselves.

I first encountered the Frog-ites when one handed me a card which read, "Get Out of Purgatory Free." At the time, I figured I'd hold the card till afterlife, but I've had to play it a few times in this one. In fact, the whole concept of "Purgatory Road" was inspired by this boggy joke. In any event, I soon found myself writing the song below, which fully lays out the life and glorious works of Our Frog, the Rananoster.

I thought the song was just a hop-and-run parody, but The Great Green Frog had other ideas. Something seemed to resonate with listeners, and it became my most-requested singalong. Not only that, but frogs started appearing everywhere I went - both the living ones that like to plop in my lap and my tent and the wealth of frog icons that have been gifted to me.

I take them as omens of good fortune - in ancient times, they were fertility symbols, and they remain the greatest group singers of the animal kingdom. What's more, frogs have the amphibious ability to feel at home in more than one environment. And they're awful cute, in a slimy sort of way. It's not easy being green, but it beats being a purple cow.

The Great Green Frog

Away up the river, sitting on a stump,
Eating up flies and needing room to jump,
The amphibious Jesus is sitting on a log.
We are the Church of the Great Green Frog.

CHORUS

Oh, the Great Green Frog,
The Great Green Frog.
We are the Church of the Great Green Frog

Back in the year of One B.F.,
Three wise frogs saw a star up in the west.
They followed it over to Bethlehem bog,
Where the mother was cradling the holy polliwog.
Frog was the greatest that ever wore green.
He went to the desert, where no frog had ever been.
The Devil tempted Him, but he squatted firm.
He wouldn't sell His soul for a can of worms.
Frog was a ribbiter, just like His dad.
He gave a great speech called the Sermon on the Pad.
He taught us to pray to the Bullfrog beyond,
And he said that the meek would inherit the pond.
At the wedding of Rana in the marsh of Galilee,
There was just one fly to feed a family,
But frog made use of a secret charm,
And suddenly the fly became a swarm.
He healed the leapers, who had lost their legs.
He healed the ladies when they couldn't lay eggs.
He drove out the Cajuns and the snakes and the dogs.
He walked on the water -

(Spoken)
But then, so do most frogs.

Frog finally reached the end of the road
When he went in the temple and he kicked out all the toads.
They sold Him to a science lab. It wasn't no joke.
They put Him in a jar, and there he croaked.
But that's not the place where our tale does end.
He lay three days, then he hopped up again.
He leapt to the great lily pad in the sky,
Where there aren't any gators, and there's millions of flies.
So if you're in trouble, and you just can't win,
Send a prayer to the Frog, who croaked for your sins.
He is the wheel, of which we all are cogs.
The world is His swamp, and we are His frogs.
Away up the river, sitting on a stump,
Eating up flies and needing room to jump,
The amphibious Jesus is sitting on a log.
We are the Church of the Great Green Frog.

The Great Green Frog
© 1990 Steve Brooks
Frog Records
4905 Gladeview Drive
Austin, TX 78745
1-877-440-7668
steve@stevebrooks.net
By permission of the author

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